Talking to kids about cancer

Children, teens and young adults


Explaining a cancer diagnosis to children or teenageers can feel difficult and overwhelming, but talking sensitively and honestly about cancer can reassure them during a time of uncertainty and change. Giving children the chance to ask about cancer and express their feeling will help them understand.

Although the Talking to Kids About Cancer booklet focuses on when a parent has cancer, much of the discussion will be relevant for anyone who needs to explain a diagnosis of cancer to children. 

How to talk about cancer

Below are some key points you can use to help when having a conversation about cancer.

  • Start with questions to check what your kids know about cancer.
  • Offer basic information and provide more details if they ask.
  • Practise your response to potential questions before talking to kids.
  • Explain that the cancer is not their fault and is not contagious.
  • Assure them they will always be looked after, even if you can't always do it yourself.
  • Stop and listen to your children so you know how they really feel.
  • Share your own feelings to help show children that it is okay to feel strong emotions about the situation.
  • Children may react with different emotions. They may feel angry, sad or guilty. Reactions can also be physical, such as bedwetting or a change in sleeping patterns.
  • Teenagers may find it hard to talk to you or show how they feel.
  • Continue daily routines as much as you can. Talk about your children's own activities as well, and let them know that it's still okay to have fun.

Overview

Talking to kids about cancer can feel overwhelming. Your first reaction may be to keep the news from children or to delay telling them.

Talking to kids at different ages

Children's understanding of illness and their reactions to bad news will vary depending on their age, temperament and family experiences

Talking about the diagnosis

When you first learn of a cancer diagnosis, you may feel shocked and overwhelmed. Among the many decisions you need to make will be when, where and how to talk to the children and young people in your life.

Talking about treatment

Cancer treatment can be challenging for the whole family, but children and young people often manage better when they know what to expect.

After treatment

For many people, the end of treatment is a time of relief and celebration, but it can also be a time of mixed emotions.

Talking about advanced cancer

This information is a starting point for talking to your children if someone they love has cancer that has come back or spread.

Finding support and information

Talking to children about cancer can be daunting, but you are not alone.

 

Make a book
This example, by Tayla and her grandma:
Where is Mummy? book
Where is Mummy? (2mb)

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Questions about cancer?

Call or email our experienced cancer nurses for information and support.

Contact a cancer nurse